Tell me. Have you ever heard a man be accused of bringing shame to his family because he mistreated his wife? Are abusive men ever accused of disgracing their families? Are perpetrators of domestic abuse ever disowned by their families for destroying women’s lives?
I’ll tell you what I’ve seen a hundred times over.
I’ve seen women fall pregnant and get kicked out of their parents house while the men who impregnated them carry on unharmed. I’ve seen women who have endured abuse because they were told leaving their husbands and marriages is shameful. I’ve seen women cover their bruises and hide their broken bones because having a failed marriage will bring shame to their family. I’ve seen women die. Because suicide was a better option than running back to their parents homes.
Tell me. Why are women taught to endure abuse? Why are we raised to be a husband’s punching bag for the sake of keeping up the appearance of a good marriage? Why is it expected for women to live a hellish life just to honour their family? But a man who beats and cheats on his wife isn’t considered a disgrace to his family.
Men get away with so much. Men get away with murder. Men never have to deal with the consequences because they’re never held accountable. Men can beat you and still be called heroes. Men can kill you and blame you for provoking them and society will sympathize because men are never expected to control themselves.
I’ll never understand why a man can be comfortable with being defined as a creature with no control. Maybe it’s because it keeps them from showing any morsel of human decency. It must be nice to dwell in a space where no one expects anything good out of you. It must be nice to be able to do whatever the hell you want because let’s face it, whose gonna check you? Women are raised to desire you above their own lives. To please you and care for you even if it leads to their graves. Why would you care then to be any measure of a decent person? It must be nice.